


I’ll Hold You Close, So You Know I’m Here

by Azalea_Blue



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Someone dies but it’s just in a nightmare, Temporary Character Death, depictions of violence, post cannon, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azalea_Blue/pseuds/Azalea_Blue
Summary: Simon watches as The Mage drives his sword through Baz’s heart, but then wakes up in his boyfriends arms.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	I’ll Hold You Close, So You Know I’m Here

**Simon**

I’m back at Watford again. The main courtyard has become a battle scene. People are fighting left and right. I have no idea who they are: their faces are all blurred. I walk through the battle. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I know I need to find it and that time is running out. 

I start running into the wavering wood; my instincts telling me that whatever I need to find is there. I reach where I need to be, and my heart stops in my chest.

Baz has been knocked onto the floor. He’s on his back propped up on his elbows, trying to crawl away from something. There’s nothing but pure terror in his eyes. I rush over to him, only to feel a barrier in my way. I watch as what he’s scared of comes into vision. 

“Well, it seems I’ve won Pitch.” Says the figure. It’s me, but it’s not  _ me _ . I remember once that The Mage told me that he would be willing to take my place in the final battle if something happened. I thought that it was to give me comfort that we could still win even if I lost, but it seems that it was more of a contingency plan if I found myself unable to kill Baz.

“It would seem that you have, Snow. What are you waiting for? Just get it over with.” Baz sneers. The Mage plants the sword right on his heart. 

“No, please no! Please!” I try to shout, but nothing comes out. No one sees me. Baz will think I killed him. The boy I’m in love with will die thinking that my greatest wish was to murder him in cold blood. I try to get closer, to protect him, to  _ save  _ him, but no matter how far I run, they’re still the same distance away.

“As you wish.” The Mage snarls. Then he runs the sword straight through Baz’s heart. Baz gasps before The Mage pulls the sword out and throws it to the side.

“Now  _ we’ve  _ won. Your little family won’t keep going with their heir gone.” The Mage spits. He throws the sword to the side and runs off to the main battle. No doubt to claim his victory. I rush to Baz’s side. His blood is quickly spilling out onto the grass.

“Baz.  _ Baz  _ I’m here. Please, I’m right here. Please stay with me.” I’m crying. I can’t lose him. I just can’t. 

“Please, somebody help us!” I scream. I don’t have magic, so I can’t heal him. Everything’s fallen silent. It’s as if we’re the only two people left. 

“Please, please stay with me, please.” I’m rambling. Tears are spilling out of my eyes. “Please, Baz, please just stay. I’m right here.” I keep frantically repeating the same words over and over again. I just can’t help it. I can’t lose him.

“Simon, Simon!” He cuts me off. His voice is so weak, he shouldn’t sound like this. He needs to be okay.

“I’m here. I’m here I promise.” I say. He smiles weakly at me. His breathing is growing labored. The blood keeps spilling.

“It’s okay. I know… I know it wasn’t you.” He breathes out. “I love you.” He presses his hand to my cheek. I grab it. The least I can do is give him comfort in his final moments. It’s what I have to do. I don’t want to let him go, but I can’t let him die alone, he’s been alone too many times in his life. I’ll hold him until it’s over, even if it means losing the one person I live for. 

“I love you too.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. He flashes a smile at me. I pull him into my arms. I hold him and cry as his grip grows weaker before his breath stops completely. I slowly lower him to the ground, tears streaming down my cheeks. His eyes have closed.

_ He can’t be gone. Please, he can’t be gone. He can’t be gone. He can’t be gone... _

**Baz**

Simon is having a nightmare. He’s had them for a while. I know it’s unsafe to wake someone up who is in the middle of one, but I can’t just watch him suffer like this. I heard him say my name a few times, and I’m scared of what I am in his dreams. Am I a part of what he fears? It doesn’t matter right now. I just need to wake him up.

“Love, it’s okay. You’re okay. It’s just a dream.” I say as comfortingly as I can. He continues to wimper. 

“Hey, Simon it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.” I whisper. I shake his shoulder a little and he jolts awake. He’s breathing hard and fast. 

I rub his back as he calms down, and it seems to help a little. Neither of us have been great with physical affection, but we both try when the other has nightmares. He’s generally better at it than I am. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask once his breathing has evened out. He turns to be and looks at me in shock. Before I even have time to respond, he pulls me into a bone crushing hug.

**Simon**

Baz is fine. The Mage is dead. I just had a nightmare. Baz is here, in my arms, breathing, full of life. I hold him even tighter than I was as he whispers calming words into my ear.

“You’re here, you’re safe.” I say without thinking.

“I’m here Snow. You can’t get rid of me that easy.” He says. I laugh. He always knows how to cheer me up. He started using the fact that he knows how to push my buttons to make me laugh instead of angry. It’s one of the things I love about him.

“Do you want to talk about it. Did I hurt you? I heard you call my name.” He shrinks into himself. It’s one of the insecurities that he doesn’t really talk to me about: that he still sometimes feels like I’m scared of him.

“No. No! It wasn’t you. It was The Mage. He wore my face and plunged a sword through your heart. I was helpless to save you…” I start crying again.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m here. I’ll  _ never  _ think you did something like that to me, okay? I promise I won’t let anyone tear me away from you anytime soon. I choose you, remember?” He holds my hands in his. I smile. Who knew Baz Pitch could be this much of a sap?

“I know. I know. I love you.” He blushes at that.

“I love you too. Do you want to go back to bed?” I just nod in response. 

We lie back down, and I pull Baz to my chest, draping a wing over the both of us. He falls asleep in my arms, and I sit there for awhile and listen to him breathe. Eventually, I’m lulled into sleep. This time, I dream of moments like this. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I like to switch it up between angst and fluff, but I can’t really write pure angst because my heart can’t take it. I just like writing them being cute okay. If you enjoyed please leave a comment or press the kudos button, it makes me happy to know you guys like my writing!


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